Evergreen Diary

You and me were friends since we're young

You and me shared the best childhood memories ever!

And now

I miss the moments that we'll never have again

I am truly miss the moment we're laughing at the seaside

I am truly miss the moment we play 'hide and seek' at the deep forest

I am truly miss the moment we running and screaming when the dog barked to us

And the truth is

I am truly missing you

The childhood memories never vanished from my evergreen diary

It's still there to remind me how beautiful life is

It's wonderful to live a life without no doubt

It's fantastic to live in a fantasy

It's a beautiful nightmare to live in a dream

And it's dramatic to have a evergreen memory

Wish You Were Here by Avril Lavigne

I can be tough
I can be strong
But with you, it’s not like that at all

There’s a girl
who gives a shit
behind this wall
You’ve just walked through it

And I remember all those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You’re always there, you’re everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.
All those crazy things we did
Didn’t think about it, just went with it
You’re always there, you’re everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I’d do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I’d do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

I love the way you are
It’s who I am, don’t have to try hard
We always say, say like it is
And the truth is that I really miss

All those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You’re always there, you’re everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.
All those crazy things we did
Didn’t think about it, just went with it
You’re always there, you’re everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

No, I don’t wanna let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I’d do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here (I wish you were)
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I’d do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

Crush or Missing?

I miss you

I'm not lying..

I'm not pretending..

I'm sincere..

I got a crush for you

Is it real?

or..

It's just a fake feeling..

but I'm not a faker..

I'm thinking of you every time my eyes are blinking..

Every time I close my eyes..

The only portrait appear in my imagination is you..

The only one who come to my mind is you

It was you who came first to my dream..

It was you who made me feel miserable..

It was you who froze me out 

every time I tried to walk away..

It was you who made my heart beat faster 

every time I decide to forget you.

I'm totally confused

I'm thinking of you

Every seconds, every minutes, every hours,

every days, every weeks, every months, every years..

and mostly..

EVERY TIME and EVERY WHERE..

I'm just too curious..

Is it a crush for you?

or...

I'm just missing you?

I Miss My Bestfriend

I have a bestfriend and I miss him damn much!
Lost contact with him. 

Dear friend..where are you now? I really miss you. 
Got no news about you. 
Are you alright? How's your study? Everything's okay?
I miss you dear friend.
I miss the moment we talked about our problems.
I miss the moment you healed my pain.
I miss the moment we laughed together when we made some jokes.
I miss the moment we cried together when 1 of us got problem.
I miss the moment you wiped away my tears when I'm cried out loud for my failure.
I miss the moment we skipped the class together.
I miss the moment when some of your admires asked me to express their love to you :)
I miss the moment we walked together without slippers at the seaside.
I miss the moment we captured pictures together.

(poor me..the pictures was lost because it saved in the old laptop)I miss the moment we shared together until people thought we're a couple.

(but the fact is~you and me=just a bestfriend)I thought we'll keep our friendship forever but it's seems gone by the time.
I've lost your contact number. 

I've lost your e-mail. 

Clumsy me!

And I really don't have any idea about you right now.
Where are your my dear friend? I miss you. I miss you.
Where are you? Blow your news to me. As you ever said...
When the wind blow your face, it's me saying I MISS YOU..
But.. where's the wind? I didn't feel it.. Is that mean you're forgetting me?
Dear friend, I hope you'll read this coz I know,you'll understand that I mentioned this post to you.
Hoping you to find out this....








p/s : i miss you.

BUDAK CENGENG

Tengok pic family tadi. wah! daripada awal hingga habis tengok pic2 family tu,menitis airmataku tanpa henti.. CENGENG!Apatah lagi melihat pic Ara(my niece) yang comel montel tu. air mata mengalir deras.. 

CENGENG!Rasa geram tiba2 menerpa apabila melihat pic Ara yg sangat comel itu.. Rindu yang teramat sangat. Tengok pic2 mum,dad,my sisters...MISS THEM LIKE CRAZY. rindu membuak2 di dada. rindu nak dengar nasihat mum yg berjela-jela.rindu nak dgr papa memarahi aQ kerana sering kali melenting apabila beliau menegur atau membandingkan aQ dgn adikku..rindu untuk memarahi papa apabila beliau merokok di hadapanku terutamanya ketika aQ sdg makan.ermm..rindu kat kakak2ku yg suka mengusikku.rindu adik2ku yg suka mengenakan aQ..rindu untuk mengusik adik bongsuku kerana kulitnya yg gelap sedikit berbanding kakak2nya(termasuk aQ kerana kami ber4 berkulit cerah kecuali yg ke-5..gelap sedikit..)..memikirkan semua ini membuatkan hatiku hiba..air mata menitis ketika menulis post ini.betapa CENGENGNYA aQ...

aQ x mampu mengawal emosiku apabila memikirkan mereka yang sgt menyayangi aQ walaupun aQ seorang yg 'pendiam tapi nakal n degil' ketika berada di rumah...CENGENG! gosh gosh gosh!!!x sabar menunggu tarikh 13 Mac untuk balik ke Sabah. ya~mungkin orang lain fikir aQ xda rasa rindu kpd family kerana sangat jarang berhubung or menghubungi  mereka. oh! tidak! sama sekali x benar. aQ bukanlah insan yang x berperasaan. jarang berhubung x bermakna aQ x rindu kpd mereka. RINDU OKAY! RINDU SEPARUH MATI! 

tapi bukan sikapku untuk berhubung setiap hari dgn family.bukan kerana aQ biasa berjauhan dengan mereka. aQ x pernah berjauhan spt ini dgn mereka. aQ x tinggal kat hostel masa sekolah rendah mahupun sekolah menengah dulu. tidak! aQ hanya brjauhan dgn mereka jika aQ terlibat dgn aktvt luar sekolah,sukan,or aktvt kat Church. tapi sekarang.. aQ merasakan bahawa aQ terlalu jauh dgn mereka. namun,aQ takkan sekali2 menghubungi mereka setiap hari.bukan kerana x rindu ya.. tapi demi menjimatkan wang n menguji jati diriku..

dan aQ suka mencabar diriku utk mengetahui sejauh mana kekuatan mentalku untuk berhadapan dgn situasi sprti ini..dan aQ hampir berjaya. TAHNIAH!.benar. aQ sangat jarang menghubungi mereka. kerana bagiku,inilah masanya untuk mengadaptasikan diri dengan keadaan berjauhan dgn family.bukan untuk melupakan,tetapi untuk memberikan peluang kpd diriku untuk berdikari. ya! aQ rasa sangat bebas kerana x perlu dihubungi oleh keluarga setiap hari.. 'buat apa?','da makan?', 'kelas apa hari ini?', 'elaun korg da masuk?'.. ermm.. aQ x perlu menghadapi itu semua setiap hari. cuma kadang2 rasa jealous apabila melihat kawan2 dihubungi keluarga setiap hari.dalam presepsiku, mereka amat disayangi dan diberi perhatian penuh semasa belajar. berlainan dgn aQ yg seolah-olah anak terbiar. amat jarang dihubungi keluarga.

tapi aQ tahu mereka sangat menyayangi aQ. dan setiap kali memikirkan hal ini,aQ pasti akan menitiskan airmata,betapa CENGENGNYA AKU! asyik mengalirkan air mata. walau aQ berusaha menyembunyikan air mataku daripada dilihat oleh room8ku,namun aQ sungguh x terdaya.dan ada kalanya aQ sembunyikan tangis di dalam hati.biar hanya Tuhan yg tahu betapa rindu itu benar2 menyentuh perasaanku. 

Pic ni sungguh menyentuh perasaan. Ara sangat comel dan aQ merinduinya. Rindu...

p/s : jangan jadi BUDAK CENGENG,Jaelle!