OFFICIALLY SSSSSS

I don't like your coz you:

• a liar
• dishonest to me
• always ignore me
• made me feel I'm not your special one (yeah, I know, I'm not your special one, right?)
• don't text me back when I text you
• suck!
• hurts me with your lies
• takes me for granted
• don't love me enough
• a coward
• can't handle me at my worst (so, i guess you don't deserve me at my best)
• make me cry everyday
• always tell me lies
• give 1001 reasons when I ask you to come
• can't understand me

That's all. Thank you. Life must go on and should be happier after this. Happily ever after.

Imperfection

I am not good at all
I am not an angel nor a devil
I am not perfect in anything or everything but I know anything or everything that I should know
I am not pretty but I have my own attraction point
I am not a genius but I learn fast
I am not a good writer but I know how to write nice poem
I am not a good student but I know how to survive at my school


I can't cook well but I know how to cook the food I love
I can't ride bicycle but I know how to run when I need to run
I can't play well in sports but I know how to play the games I wanted to play
I can't sing well as the singers but I know how to sing the songs I like
I can't dance well as the dancers but I know how to dance nicely
I can't play DOTA like a pro but I know how to play DOTA


I don't get 4.00 plat in my exam but I know how to get myself pass the exam
I don't study hard but I know how to study smart
I don't know much about ICT but I know what ICT is


I am just an ordinary girl just like the others
I made mistakes but I've tried hard to avoid troubles
I get jealous when other girls tried to approach my boyfriend
I get mad when pimples are everywhere at my face
I can cry easily when something touched my heart
I love babies and children
I wear make-up
I am addicted to nice hair
I go shopping with my girlfriends
I can wear high heel
I love prom night
I love trying new styles


And all about who I am..
I am just me and I have my own imperfection
Coz real human is not perfect
So, be grateful for who you are and whatever you are


p/s you don't have to be perfect in everything to be a real human...coz you'll never be perfect...

Sincere From My Heart

First of all.. i'm sorry if saya 'mix'kan bahasa untuk post ni. sometimes lost idea when writing in Malay.

Ok.. as the title of this post is 'Sincere From My Heart'.. i guess u all know what i'm going to share. 

First, i'm really sorry if i have hurts you and you and you and you~~ semualah yg pernah sakit hati or disakiti oleh insan yang bernama Jaelle ni. ok? why saya minta maaf?

The reasons are:-

1. I realized that i have hurt many peoples,my friends, my ex-lovers, my family... and even the animal & plants(nature).. in malay>> saya sedar bahawa saya telah menyakitkan hari ramai orang,kawan2, x-bf, keluarga, haiwan dan juga tumbuh2an(alam sekitar)LOL
2. I've thought many times..not twice..but many times..and now i realized that i don't have any right to hurt any people even i get hurt from them. (ni malas mao translate..buat2 fhm je klu x faham)
3. I want to be normal coz i think i'm not ME anymore. means~~ 'saya' terlalu berbeza dengan 'saya' yang dahulu.. 
4. Saya rasa sangat berdosa sekarang coz saya suka sangat menyakiti hati orang lain.. kalau esok kiamat, takut juga x sempat bertaubat ni.. that's why i have to ask your forgiveness...even it's hard to forgive me..
5. I have too many reasons..but i'm tired to write it all...

All i want to say is SORRY.. if i made you cried last night,last day,last week,last month,last year..or anytime i have hurt you...

I know..i'm not perfect...and everybody said they're not perfect...but that's not the excuse to do mistakes.. we all know that we're not perfect...but we have to improve our attitude. i'm trying now..and wish me luck..and i ask you all to improve our attitude..not to be perfect..just to become better from now... 

See...we can't predict when will our life is over..maybe tonight,tomorrow,next week,next month,next year or maybe while we're reading this post.then, why don't we ask forgiveness?to God, to other people..to you..to you and you or to everyone?

Melt your ego. stop being too pessimist.. stop judging people..stop every bad attitude and let's start the new life.. the new BREATH before the time is up. come on peps! 

I know i'm not an angel to ask you to do this. but i don't find it's wrong to 'MENGINGATKAN' kamu semua mengenai hal ini. so.. i'm sorry for the wrong grammar,the mixed language,the hurting words. i'm SORRY. 

p/s: i love you all....semoga anda memaafkan saya.. terima kasih

My Mistakes

A big L.O.L for me for those who often get hurts from me. I just realized that I've made a big mistake in my life. And now.. i admit that i'm wrong. and this is all my fault. i lost my self. i dunno  who i am just now. seems the real me was gone.

I hate hurts. I hate lies. I hate sadness. But. i just cried.cried.cried and cried for something i don't even know. how silly i am? I dunno what's going on my mind. suddenly i feel like i'm the most wicked among the human. and why should i cried out loud like this? i don't have any idea. my mind was blurr.seems something unclear. seems something untrue.seems something bother my mind.

I want peace. but i didn't find the peace. i've searched everywhere. but it's seems so far from me. where i am now? i was lost. i have no idea to turns into the real world. hey Jaelle! wake up! this is not a fairyland. i have to catch up my dream. i should not fall for unnecessary thing!

but..i'm weak! i admit that. this is all caused by something called L.O.V.E. is it true that L.O.V.E bring happiness to those who feel it? NOPE! for me.. it's just a big mistake i ever done! why should i became like this? i don't even recognize that i'm  JAELLE. i don't even realize that i'm normal.

Gosh! it's really hurt when i found my self now. i'm such a beggar. begging for someone love. i'm such an idiot! people lie.people use me for their own goods..people talk about me. but i don't even care. and i just realize that i'm a fool! yeap! a FOOL!silly me!

I lost my hope on everything. i only left my hopes to God. yeap! i still believe in HIM.  dear friends. i felt sorry for all the mistakes i have done to you. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.I'M SORRY.

Call me idiot.call me crazy.call me stupid.call me wicked.call me whatever you want. i admit it. i deserve it.

p/s i deserve it all. just ignore me.i'm out of my mind.

Hoping for the HAPPY ENDING

Oh! Conflict of emotion. Dunno how to describe my feeling right now. I gave you hopes. I’ve made you sad every time we talked about this. I’ve made you disappointed. Oh! It’s killing me. Everytime I tried to close my eyes,the one I saw is YOU! Is these people called LOVE? Oh man….!! It’s weird. I mean this feeling is weird. No! No! No! I still love ‘him’. But Yes! Yes! Yes!...You had affected half of my life. And I can’t lie to myself that I might fall in love with you. But I’m not sure about this. I have to confirm this feeling then,I can tell you.Until now,I just can tell you to keep waiting and save your patience if you really love me. But.. how about ‘him’ then? I don’t wanna hurt ‘him’ as he does to me. And seems like my heart feels too hard to let ‘him’ coz I still feel the love for ‘him’. It’s not easy to leave someone you love and someone who’s meaningful to you. But I just can’t help myself. Coz I’m not the right girl for you. I don’t have any package to be your princess. I’m wicked. I’m not kind. I’m a silly girl. I’m such a bird in a cage. Can’t fly to the sky. No freedom at all. Oh!! I’m so tired with all of this matter. I hope it will be solved soon and can breathe free. JJust hoping for a HAPPY ENDING. Tired and lack of idea.

oh...

it's hard to find someone who you can rely on.
it's hard to trust people you just meet.
it's hard to forget the past.
i've tried but it's seems doesn't work at all. 
the truth is i'm tired with this messy things in my life.
i've tried for a long time.
maybe for my whole life.
but until now i can't find someone who i can trust the most and share my problems to him/her.
but i realized..GOD is everything and i can rely on HIM anytime i caught into trouble or trapped in a problems. 
i'm grateful coz God lead me into His way.
i love GOD :)

tHe sTruggle

i'm struggling for it but the fact is..it's not worth..it just wasting my time.but i can't let myself from thinking the thing..it comes every time i try to forget it.. such a jerk.i hate being like this..this is not my will.i'm willing to change but it's really hard..world are too cruel. i lost in my own direction. wanna forget it! seriously! but how?