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Sunday, April 17, 2011

My Mistakes

A big L.O.L for me for those who often get hurts from me. I just realized that I've made a big mistake in my life. And now.. i admit that i'm wrong. and this is all my fault. i lost my self. i dunno  who i am just now. seems the real me was gone.

I hate hurts. I hate lies. I hate sadness. But. i just cried.cried.cried and cried for something i don't even know. how silly i am? I dunno what's going on my mind. suddenly i feel like i'm the most wicked among the human. and why should i cried out loud like this? i don't have any idea. my mind was blurr.seems something unclear. seems something untrue.seems something bother my mind.

I want peace. but i didn't find the peace. i've searched everywhere. but it's seems so far from me. where i am now? i was lost. i have no idea to turns into the real world. hey Jaelle! wake up! this is not a fairyland. i have to catch up my dream. i should not fall for unnecessary thing!

but..i'm weak! i admit that. this is all caused by something called L.O.V.E. is it true that L.O.V.E bring happiness to those who feel it? NOPE! for me.. it's just a big mistake i ever done! why should i became like this? i don't even recognize that i'm  JAELLE. i don't even realize that i'm normal.

Gosh! it's really hurt when i found my self now. i'm such a beggar. begging for someone love. i'm such an idiot! people lie.people use me for their own goods..people talk about me. but i don't even care. and i just realize that i'm a fool! yeap! a FOOL!silly me!

I lost my hope on everything. i only left my hopes to God. yeap! i still believe in HIM.  dear friends. i felt sorry for all the mistakes i have done to you. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.I'M SORRY.

Call me idiot.call me crazy.call me stupid.call me wicked.call me whatever you want. i admit it. i deserve it.

p/s i deserve it all. just ignore me.i'm out of my mind.

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