Sincere From My Heart

First of all.. i'm sorry if saya 'mix'kan bahasa untuk post ni. sometimes lost idea when writing in Malay.

Ok.. as the title of this post is 'Sincere From My Heart'.. i guess u all know what i'm going to share. 

First, i'm really sorry if i have hurts you and you and you and you~~ semualah yg pernah sakit hati or disakiti oleh insan yang bernama Jaelle ni. ok? why saya minta maaf?

The reasons are:-

1. I realized that i have hurt many peoples,my friends, my ex-lovers, my family... and even the animal & plants(nature).. in malay>> saya sedar bahawa saya telah menyakitkan hari ramai orang,kawan2, x-bf, keluarga, haiwan dan juga tumbuh2an(alam sekitar)LOL
2. I've thought many times..not twice..but many times..and now i realized that i don't have any right to hurt any people even i get hurt from them. (ni malas mao translate..buat2 fhm je klu x faham)
3. I want to be normal coz i think i'm not ME anymore. means~~ 'saya' terlalu berbeza dengan 'saya' yang dahulu.. 
4. Saya rasa sangat berdosa sekarang coz saya suka sangat menyakiti hati orang lain.. kalau esok kiamat, takut juga x sempat bertaubat ni.. that's why i have to ask your forgiveness...even it's hard to forgive me..
5. I have too many reasons..but i'm tired to write it all...

All i want to say is SORRY.. if i made you cried last night,last day,last week,last month,last year..or anytime i have hurt you...

I know..i'm not perfect...and everybody said they're not perfect...but that's not the excuse to do mistakes.. we all know that we're not perfect...but we have to improve our attitude. i'm trying now..and wish me luck..and i ask you all to improve our attitude..not to be perfect..just to become better from now... 

See...we can't predict when will our life is over..maybe tonight,tomorrow,next week,next month,next year or maybe while we're reading this post.then, why don't we ask forgiveness?to God, to other people..to you..to you and you or to everyone?

Melt your ego. stop being too pessimist.. stop judging people..stop every bad attitude and let's start the new life.. the new BREATH before the time is up. come on peps! 

I know i'm not an angel to ask you to do this. but i don't find it's wrong to 'MENGINGATKAN' kamu semua mengenai hal ini. so.. i'm sorry for the wrong grammar,the mixed language,the hurting words. i'm SORRY. 

p/s: i love you all....semoga anda memaafkan saya.. terima kasih

Outing with my Classmates

Oh! No!! My skin getting dark! That was my first impression when i came back from Port Klang yesterday (17 April 2010). But.. actually.. i don't really care about it. Coz i'm really enjoyed and happy with the trip with my dear classmates (PPISMP 2D) mentioned k!

Jaelle(me), Eva, Leen, Floe, Suri, Aida, Helora, Syuhada, Memiey, Akmal, Rabi and Zul are on the trip yesterday. And seriously..at first, i'm really excited with this trip. Why? coz even some of my classmates cannot join us(some of them gave nonsense reason to avoid this trip), we're still happy happy and happy exploring the Indian's culture especially the Hindu religious ceremonies on their celebration(Hari Chaitra if i'm not mistaken).

Wow! It just like a dream. I never thought that i would see by the Hindu people bring the KAVADI in the real. coz before, i just heard this from my teachers, friends or watch it on TV..But yesterday.. wow! i just saw it. and it's really~~ O.O~~so creepy and terrifying me.. if somebody ask me to do that.. i would never do that even you give 1 million. never! Eventhough the sun was burning my skin.. i don't even care. coz i'm excited to see it. at least.. i got a new experience about their culture and maybe i could share it to other peoples someday.I found that their religious ceremonies are  very unique. And the people have a fascinating union to perform the ceremony.

Oh yeah. There's a lot of funny incidents happened during we watching the ceremonies. LOL.

• As we're standing along the road and many people passing through the road, they also starring at us. Maybe we're looks weird. well.. some of my friends wearing veil because they are Muslims.. 1 Malaysia maa :D
• A big LOL when some of the Indians asked my friend (Nur Syuhada) like this: "Dari Indonesia ea?" 

p/s : do we look like Indonesian? :D

Oh! Thanx to Mr. Santharan for spent us to eat. :D We love u papa.. hehe.. Oh! There's a lot of things we learned at there. And now I'm too tired to type it all.. :D Whatever~~ I ENJOYED THE TRIP even the sun was very hot until i got sunburn. Uhuuu~~ enjoy viewing this picture :-

My classmates. I Malaysia :D

Auchh~~i can feel the pain..but do you believe 'THIS MAN DON'T FEEL THE PAIN' . Trust me!  (Mr. Santharan told me)

KAVADI

Ok. Lastly.. i love my classmates :D

p/s: We, the people of PPISMP 2 D gave our effort to support  1 MALAYSIA. ignore the incorrect grammar. :D

My Mistakes

A big L.O.L for me for those who often get hurts from me. I just realized that I've made a big mistake in my life. And now.. i admit that i'm wrong. and this is all my fault. i lost my self. i dunno  who i am just now. seems the real me was gone.

I hate hurts. I hate lies. I hate sadness. But. i just cried.cried.cried and cried for something i don't even know. how silly i am? I dunno what's going on my mind. suddenly i feel like i'm the most wicked among the human. and why should i cried out loud like this? i don't have any idea. my mind was blurr.seems something unclear. seems something untrue.seems something bother my mind.

I want peace. but i didn't find the peace. i've searched everywhere. but it's seems so far from me. where i am now? i was lost. i have no idea to turns into the real world. hey Jaelle! wake up! this is not a fairyland. i have to catch up my dream. i should not fall for unnecessary thing!

but..i'm weak! i admit that. this is all caused by something called L.O.V.E. is it true that L.O.V.E bring happiness to those who feel it? NOPE! for me.. it's just a big mistake i ever done! why should i became like this? i don't even recognize that i'm  JAELLE. i don't even realize that i'm normal.

Gosh! it's really hurt when i found my self now. i'm such a beggar. begging for someone love. i'm such an idiot! people lie.people use me for their own goods..people talk about me. but i don't even care. and i just realize that i'm a fool! yeap! a FOOL!silly me!

I lost my hope on everything. i only left my hopes to God. yeap! i still believe in HIM.  dear friends. i felt sorry for all the mistakes i have done to you. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.I'M SORRY.

Call me idiot.call me crazy.call me stupid.call me wicked.call me whatever you want. i admit it. i deserve it.

p/s i deserve it all. just ignore me.i'm out of my mind.

Assignment dah..Exam lagi..

Wah... leganya hati apabila selesai menyiapkan dan menghantar semua 'assignment' yang berlambak-lambak. Rasa lega sangat. But.. assignment selesai x bermakna dah selesai perjuangan. exam masih setia menanti. Erm.. lepas siapkan semua assignment ni, ada pula kerja lain yang menanti. 

Malam sayembara puisi kitaorang yang anjurkan. jadi AJK Dokumentasi lagi. ni yang best ni. saya memang suka dengan tugas ni. tapi.. yang x bestnya apabila rakan setugas tidak membantu. apa-apa pun, saya sangat 'salute' dengan classmates saya yang membantu menyiapkan dokumentasi Bahasa Melayu Kontekstual tu. walaupun masing2 penat selepas melalui ujian amali Pendidikan Jasmani, semua masih sempat mengerahkan tenaga untuk menghasilkan dokumentasi tu. fuhh! caya la.. korang memang baik beb!. 

Dokumentasi tu memang tugas saya. tapi itu x bermakna semua tu saya lakukan seorang.mati aku beb! hehe, semua orang haruslah bekerjasama sebab markah tu bukan untuk saya seorang kan3? whatever... trimas buat semua yang membantu. walaupun ada yang still x membantu langsung.but it's okay. yang penting kerja tu dah siap. :) my next plan is.....

  STUDY FOR THE UPCOMING EXAM. wish luck for me n my friends. :)